Bitten (2008) - The movie starts with screaming, a man appears to be holding down another dude who is screaming for help. Is this a cellar? The movies title might mean we see our first Vamp. No, it is a paramedic giving a junkie a sedative. We are introduced to the two paramedics, the young guy Jack (
Jason Mewes) and his grumpy old partner Roger (
Richard Fitzpatrick). They work the graveyard shift and Jack is having women problems. Braking up with his girlfriend and as he says "Rog what type of girls am I going to meet working the graveyard shift. Do you know any girls who are out past 4am that don't want a hundred bucks to spend the night." There is the crux of the problem, or the setup for the plot.
Mewes heads home but stops for milk, which it seems has only purpose to show some face zooms as he argues with the Indian store owner and to establish his life sucks. He passes a couple of thugs in the alley of his house who notice him and then gets home and sits down with a beer to doze in front of the television.
The next evening back at the station he has another establishing conversation about women and his lack of dating. Another opportunity for Jack to spout without a solution. They go out on a calls with a music montage of the nights events. Not as funny as they think sort of keystone cops but not really sped up in speed. Jack then returns home passing the thugs dealing drugs in his alley. He finds a body behind his house, a woman, Danika (
Erica Cox) alive but covered with blood. She sort of fights him saying "no hospitals", he takes her into his house instead of leaving her to the local thugs. He tends to her but can't find out much about her as she says she can not remember her name and there have been no missing persons in her description.
The next day at work Roger notices he is different. There is no indication that she is okay or why Jack just left a stranger at his house. As Roger and Jack talk while on a call he is advised to take her to a hospital. She is a mystery women. He trusts her some how and Rog thinks that is a bunch of shit and echos what the audience is thinking even though it was not necessary.
Returning home Jack finds Danika looking hot sitting in the window. We know she is suppose to be hot because of the porn movie music and the long slow camera pan up her body. Of course the blood covered dress is not so hot. Jack in another ridiculous piece of dialog asks her why she is sitting in the window, it cold out he says. Cold but he just walked in from out there with his shirt undone. He gets her to shower and loans her some of his exgirlfriend's clothes. She changes where Jack and the audience can see the rather lovely Danika take off her towel and show her beautiful body as she dresses. Music again to show the effect she has on Jack as he looks over at her. I wonder why he doesn't comment on her freaky too blue eyes. She does some cuddle time with him making small talk.
He falls asleep quickly and we see him waking up on Friday to find her in tough shape shaking on the couch. Looks like the DTs but we know by the title and the bandage on her neck what the problem is. Why is she so insistent that she not go to the hospital. Jack calls Roger to come help. He thinks she is a junkie and is going through withdrawal. On his way to work he has a confrontation with his ex, who when he leaves lets herself in. Guess who the first victim is?
Jack and Rog do some more spouting about the mysterious Danika. Is she a junkie, should you be involved. Roger doesn't have a very high opinion of women but is supportive in not actively shitting on his keeping Danika around. The film is so clumsy with its meaningless dialog. Every time the writer wants to explain Jack's feelings there is banter with Roger. Thing is the best way to let us know is to show us, not have a conversation without any action at all.
Coming home Jack finds his exgirlfriend Sherry (
Jordan Madley) dead and it is the crying Danika who did it. She is distraught not knowing why she bit her. She has sort of fangs now. Instead of there being a scene where Jack does something constructive he starts kissing her. The sexy music starts and the bloody Danika starts making out with him only to lose control and bite him. Only now does he realize she has fangs and pulls her to the window into the light. Her skin burns where the light touches it. She runs to the bathroom, close up of her burnt arm. He follows her in and in the stupidest couple lines of the movie she says, "Jack, what's wrong with me?" and he replies "I wish I fucking knew. Holy shit you ate my exgirlfriend I don't know whether to call the police or give you flowers." What are you kidding me, then why pull her into the light? Why comment on her fangs? Has there NEVER been such things as vampires, even fictional in this world? Then he instead of calling the police gets rid of Sherry in bubble wrap to the Barney the dinosaur song, "Tidy up your mess." A pathetic not very funny piece that gets then to what is supposed to be a cool camera shot through the bubble wrap up at our characters while they again explain that they should be showing us. I believe they will see that girl again.
Another conversation between Roger and Jack, oh so bad... Rog find the new girl hot, and can't stop talking about the junkie girl. He jokes around while Jack soul searches about what you do when people do bad things. In the end the conversation means Jack will not tell on Danika. Danika is smoking hot in her underwear when he gets home. He is tired but she is ready to play after sleeping most of the dead. They are accepting that she is sort of a vampire. This is upsetting to her. When he comes out of the shower she has the shakes again and so it will be just a matter of time before they have to get blood. First Jack gets a cat but that is a no go for Danika, cat blood makes her sick. He has to get human blood so obviously the two thugs will eventually be the targets. For now though he raids the fridge at the station for some plasma. When she tries it it also makes her sick, they learn it has to be living blood that she needs. He offers his own blood. That did the trick but it is very hard for her to stop. Now it is time for thug blood.
Jack is not so sure about watching her in her underwear draining the dude in ecstasy. She is hot but he is not turned on. Jack goes to clean up and drop the dude in the trunk with the first body, but when he opens it his now undead girlfriend pops out. It is an attempt at comedy to stake her.
Another conversion about how Roger imagines dirty sex with Danika, and then foreshadows how the life is being drained from Jack. He sends him home because he feels Jack is too tired to work. When he gets home Danika brings up the idea of changing Jack into a vampire. The music comes up and the clothes come off. Danika moves in for a bite but stops herself. "You don't know what its like. Its like I want to fuck you and eat you at the same time." Time to feed again. Time for thug number two.
So now we get an indication that the Barney song and the cleaning up of corpses is getting to him. The cracks in their relationship become more prevalent. He is afraid of her going in public and does not want her out. She goes without him. He falls asleep and dreams Danika is going to stake him. He wakes late for work as Danika brings the lovely Maya (
Amy Lynn Grover) home for a three way. Jack is not impressed but joins in anyway for the music soaked three way sex scene. It is stylish in its way ending and in the morning we have another Jack freak out scene because in the night she killed Maya. Jack doesn't like the bodies and wants it to end. While they are clearing up the body the land lady interrupts and Danika needs to kill her.
Jack heads to work for another obvious conversation with Roger. The bag of blood comes back to haunt him. Roger tries to get answers but a call near Jacks house interrupts them, The Indian store clerk is lying dying from guess what, a bite wound. Roger send Jack on an errand at the end of the work day and goes to confront Danika. Looking around the house he closes in on the bodies. He finds the blood bag and then Danika seems threatening, sensual but Jack interrupts her. Jack is pissed and wants Roger out of the house.
She wants more blood but Jack locks her in a room. Things are going poorly and Jack knows the end of this has to happen some way. A walk and a musical montage shows Jack healthy couples spending time in the sun. This is where he will resolve to move the movie to climax. He visits Roger and smooths things over with Roger, saying he needs her out of his life. He wants advice from Roger on how to break up. He is a dick so this advice is useless, but in his bull shitting they telegraph the solution for this problem and even repeat it by the end of the scene. Roger rushes off after Jack thinking the obvious.
The break up conversation through the locked door is tedious and when he goes to make his move to stake her she breaks down the door. She is going to get Jack, Roger arrives and the battle begins with attempts of humor that isn't funny. They call back the first scene of the movie and then the final battle. She bites Jack and Roger gets the staking done. Now Jack will turn so Roger and jack have the dying victim scene. You can't let him change Roger can you? End Credits.
Such a really painful experience ends with bloopers that are better than the movie. Watch all the way until the end of the credits for the final hidden scene.
Rating (3.6) Anything over a five is recommended.
Zombiegrrlz rating, Skip this one!
Rammbock (2010) - My daughter and I got to see this short, 60 minute feature at a midnight showing at the AMC Loews Boston Common 19 theaters. This opportunity to see a small film that otherwise we would never see was welcome. The coming attraction for YellowBrickRoad opening June 3rd also looked good. To make up for the short run time there was a funny intro film about what to do if a zombie is in the theater. I looked for a link to it but could not find it. It was not hilarious but certainly amusing.Rammbock : Berlin Undead was a good little film. At its heart is a love story involving Michael (Michael Fuith) and Gabi (Anna Graczyk). She had recently dumped him but he was still hoping things would work out. To further this agenda he brings his copy of her apartment keys over to her place in the guise of returning them. Still the infatuated he spends time practicing the lines he will say to win her heart back. Unfortunately for him when he arrives at the open apartment she is not there. In her place is a plumber and his assistant Harper (Theo Trebs) who are working on her pipes, literally not figuratively. Worse yet is just as Michael arrives, outside a fast spreading virus is turning people into fast zombies, think infection like in 28 Days Later. The plumber crack and all suddenly becomes infected and it is all Harper and Michael can do to fight him off and close themselves in Gabi's apartment. These early scenes are pretty much the same as we have seen in other movies, like the above mentioned 28 DL, Le Horde and the excellent [Rec] and [Rec] 2. 
Still the scene are not without peril and much like every other movie of this type there is a need for the characters to expose themselves to even more danger than you would think necessary. Harper assists even though he knows it is a bad idea. There was a good piece early section of the film where the remaining unturned people are safe for the moment in their apartments and come to the windows to talk to each other. The layout of the building created a nice closed courtyard, which unfortunately had an open gate at the start of the film so there are lots of infected down below. The space this creates for communication is excellent and if more was done with it the film could have been that much better. Say if from one window the attacks on other apartments could be viewed. 
It could have been really cool but was only used briefly here. We get to meet some of the other survivors, seeing that the big guy with tattoos has already been bitten. Expecting that something was going to happen with this massive man who will turn there is a real sense of anticipation built.
Again it is a positive that this theme of the love you can't let go of plays through the film instead of being dropped. Still in the early stages of the film the more predictable stuff is happening so of course when Michael is getting his phone it rings, attracting the infected in droves. They manage to barricade themselves in the bedroom but the rest of the apartment is lost to them and the infected know they are there.
There is a space in this end of civilization film where lots of small stories can be told. No doubt workers in Boston and Cambridge have thought out there escape routes in detail, think duck boats. Wherever you live if this type of film is for you then you have your own scenarios in your head. This film does a decent job telling one of those stories. Could more have been developed in this one? Yes for sure but even so it is a competent entry into the genre. So some credit to be given to the filmmakers Director Marvin Kren and writer Benjamin Hessler.
