The Revenant (2009) - Part of the Terrorthon 10 events at the Somerville Theater. We open on the funeral scene of Bart (David Anders) a soldier who has passed away while serving. It is clear from the minister that Bart never made clear his religious beliefs and so the chance for heaven was not assured. After the funeral Joey (Chris Wylde) , Bart's best friend talks to his former fiancee Janet (Louise Griffiths) about the minister in a bit of a cliche conversation. Still there was a good line in Janet asking in her amazingly hot British accent, "How do you stay so strong?" and Joey answering "Heavy sedation." The cringe worthy moves by Joey to then sleep with Janet felt really sleazy but of course set something up in the future.
After the funeral Bart wakes in his coffin, luckily the incompetent crew at the cemetery did not cover him in dirt yet. He wanders up to the cemetery building and he and the audience get to see that he is undead. The establish it well with his mouth being sown shut and the fact he is a bit rotten, spoiled, past his due date, definitely expired. This is tough for a guy and he really thinks he must be hallucinating or something.
He goes to Joey's house who is properly fucking freaked and hits him with a bat. As these things go the two try to figure out what is going on. Bart tries to eat pizza but unfortunately the gory result is he can not hold down food. Besides he looks like a zombie, funky eyes, bad skin and embalmed. Still They decide the emergency room should be their next step. Great scene when the nurses are examining him in the ER and he is asked to take off his shirt. The autopsy scar across his body freaks out the room.
At this point we have established a fairly comical and original buddy movie. There are still some things that have to be establish and the are as the plot marches through everything we need to know about Bart. First he collapses at sunrise appearing dead-er. Joey calls Janet's best friend Mathilda(Jacy King) who at this point knows nothing and comes over to find Bart's body in Joey's living room and of course it is dead, humorous by itself as she probably think he grave robbed the body and has lost his mind. Somewhere in here we also have learned that Bart actually feeds on blood and that it keeps him from rotting and gets rid of those awful pangs.
There is another great scene where the Boys go to the blood bank to steal blood and the nurse on duty catches Bart. Also the music is noticeably awesome at this point in the movie, the guys head out with the blood they have stolen and are cruising around town and the soundtrack is solid. It stays that way throughout the movie.
After coming out of a store run the guys are held up by a Latino man who shoots Bart, but when he rises after being shot the guy is thrown for a loop enough that Joey can knock him out. They take the guy so Bart can feed on him, which is gross. Little do they know at this point that Bart has turned the guy into a Revenant also.
At this point the movie takes two turns, one that was set up earlier and one that comes from a scene where Bart and Joey interrupt a robbery at a liqueur store. First though Janet enters the picture coming over to see Bart because Matti told her he is undead. The reestablishing of the relationship is pivotal in a couple ways. One the film established the noncommittal way Bart was when he was alive so that idea is reintroduced. He doesn't want to break up with Janet but yet he is luke warm to making a meaningful connection. It then also creates a future problem for the guys in the relationship because Joey scored Janet when she was sad and needing someone at the funeral. The second thing is with he second feeding on a criminal the guys suddenly have this vigilante angle to play to get blood for Bart.
Now in full buddy movie form and fashion things as vigilantes are going well and their popularity on the local news grows. Then things go horribly wrong. Joey is shot. The movie could have started to wind down here but instead writer / director D. Kerry Prior ups the ante. To "save" Joey Bart drinks his blood and after he dies we now have a pair of Revenant Vigilantes going around stopping crime. Matti though sees the car caught on tape on the news and recognizes it. She tracks them down to confront them. This does not go as she plans though and is shot by Joey when she says she will turn them in and tell Janet. He does not want his undead fun to stop. Still she manages to send a voice message of the conversation and suddenly Bart knows he wants Janet in his life, while Joey knows he wants it to just be the buddies. Bart feeds off Janet until she dies and it looks like his choice is made but while Janet is still dead Joey arrives with his cool hearse and wants the guys to head to Vegas. Bart wants the relationship with Janet. Can it get any more drawn out. Joey seeing a chance to be chosen over the woman tells Bart about sleeping with her and suggest they cut off her head. Who will be chosen. This should really be where the movie start wrapping up with the guys confronting each other and shooting each other in a funny scene. BUT no there is more, oh so much more.
After pissed and shot up Joey leaves Bart is actually going to do the beheading but instead is arrested by the police. At the same time the first victim the Latino guy and his gang get their hands on Joey and cut off his arm. When Bart does his morning death, the police naturally send him to the morgue so he is soon on the streets again. He gets in the mail the decapitated head of his friend Joey in a package. In a very funny way he can communicate with the head to talk and Joey at this point would like to die.
After the final scene with the buddies the movie really went off the rails for me. Attempted suicides were fun but at this point I was waiting for a wrap. Unfortunately it was a while before that happened. The ante is upped again and we are treated to the cops closing in on Bart and chase scenes and gunfights until dawn when he is collected by some government types. Weird that it went where it went and the final scenes are even stranger with the scientist filling in the gaps about how the zombies work. Then the last scene really ruined the movie for me. First it was stupid, just did not make strategic sense. Second it was not needed. If I ignore it I really liked most of this film so I will rate it ignoring the ending.
Rating (6.1) In the Zombiegrrlz rating system this would be a Rent it!