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Thursday, November 8, 2018

Cemetery Gates (2006) Horror Monster

Cemetery Gates (2006) - When a couple of eco-terrorists decide to set free what they think is a bear trapped and experimented on in a lab they release a mutated Tasmanian Devil named Precious on a local community. The scientist of that labKevin Belmont just happens to have a son Hunter Belmont (Peter Stickles) who plans to shoot his school film, on his twenty first birthday in the area where the creature was released. His father just called Belmont (Reggie Bannister) in the film is a forgetful man with an awkward connection to his son.  He is too busy at work to take time for the young man and because of it Hunter tells him he is moving out. It really is a weird way to base the characters, but establishing relationships is just part of the struggles for this film. There really is never any chemistry between the two so the entire family dynamic thing the film was going for never pans out.
 Kristen Novak), the pot smoker Enrique (John Thomas), the cool guy Tony (Ky Evans) the strong willed brunette Kym (Nicole DuPort) and the buddy Matt (Chris Finch). Most of what we see early is that the film is taking a pretty misogynistic approach to how women are treated and viewed. The sophomoric ogling of August by the three bros as Hunter drives the van to the filming location is meant to be funny but is more cringe inducing than anything. Writers Pat Coburn, Brian Patrick O'Toole, and J. Victor Rinaud are trying to create a fun atmosphere but it will be a miss unless you are a 13 yr old boy. I suppose seeing August boobies is the thrill you get for all the leering and joking at her expense.
The crew for the movie shoot is a purposefully stereotyped group, the ditsy blonde August (
 Now the creature named Precious is gone and he has to explain himself to his superior Dr. Cristine Kollar (Aime Wolf) she is going to keep the security breach and her funneling grant money to Belmont a secret. The two are guessing if the creature was stolen to be released that the likely place for that will be Franklin Park. They are going to head there to try to capture it. So we have our setup, the six film students, the two scientists, the two guys that stole the creature all heading to the same place. Where this is a monster movie gory attacks must soon follow. Add in a couple hippie dudes smoking peyote in the park and we have enough fodder to get this movie going.
  The film is played for laughs, the Director Roy Knyrim was thinking that this would be a fun film and in the special features talks about the spirit of Evil Dead where you have gore and horror elements but also campy humor. Unfortunately there is nothing smart about the humor. The majority of the gags are about August and her body. Then there are the two hicks the sons of the gatekeeper. They are dullard jerk offs who are worst than stereotypes, they are cartoon versions of bad hick boys.
  Made with a bunch of special effects people this film has gore aplenty even if they never quite get a creature that seems remotely threatening. Almost ever kill could be avoided by running away without falling down since the animal design is cumbersome to make move. There is a very impressive body count  17 with tons of fake blood as the creature mauls its way through the supporting cast. Random added characters show up and die and there are further attempts at humor and problem solving. Is this film good, no not really but it is trying to be entertaining.
  I was expecting a payoff for the story line that Hunter treated Precious as a pet when he was young. Like maybe Precious recognizes him and does not attempt to kill him. This never materializes, instead we get a bunch of rationalization from Belmont about wanting to create a creature who could lead to disease cures. It all just comes down to a "we have to kill the monster" plot that really is disjointed in its execution. This film really misses on what it is trying to do, they tried but the end product was not a hit for this viewer, even the twist ending that can set you up for a sequel has the feel of  too little too late.

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