Spaced Out (1981) Sci-Fi Sex Comedy

Spaced Out (1981) - I have reviewed so many very serious horror movies lately that this surprise from my Netflix queue was welcomed. Believe me when I tell you that it would be hardly welcomed any other time. I don't even remember adding it to Netflix, but it arrived and ended up being a decent, if ridiculous break from the heavy stuff I have been watching. I think I may have been adding movies from director Norman J. Warren who has a slew of sci-fi horror entries that could get reviewed on this blog and the one that was Bloody New Year (1987). Originally titled "Outer Touch" it is about three aliens who are awful at running their ship, who have to land on Earth. In doing so they take onto the ship four Brits and then go back into space. Not being the smartest aliens in the galaxy, they do not understand the concept of men or their function in procreation. It is intended to be a hilarious learning experience, but isn't really.
The Earthlings include the couple arguing, Oliver (Barry Stokes) and Prudence (Lynne Ross) because she won't put out, a horny young teen, Willy (Tony Maiden) who is in the park masturbating to porn magazines, and an older guy, Cliff (Michael Rowlatt) nosing into the couples affairs. They are all in the park when the spaceship lands and what else is there to do but go aboard. This first image is how our boy Cliff imagines Prudence as he watches through the bushes. What ever happened to his dog?
Then comes the humor as the three aliens observe men for the fist time. All the while the ships computer voice keeps telling them about different components that are failing and how he needs an overhaul. Yes I said he, apparently voices that sound like men are not uncommon with the aliens although they have never seen a man. The Captain is a cigar smoking leather clad warrior who is just called Skipper (Kate Ferguson). She thinks that there is something to be gained through hand to hand combat with the males and ends up in a silly but amusing duel with the very drunk Willy. He shambles around in a slapstick farce evading her attacks while accidentally knocking her on her ass. Leaving her rather agitated and perplexed.
Willy probably the primary character of the humans manages to sleep with each alien. Considering that coming in he was a virgin its good news for him. The mechanic Partha (Ava Cadell) is the first to encounter him as she examines his body and they have what is suppose to be a funny conversation about penis' and what they are used for. Early on though she is interrupted before they can get too far so it has to wait til later. He does seal the deal with the ship scientist Cosia (Glory Annen) who has her bit measuring him and because of the ships malfunctions is told he is a super special specimen and thus has to experiment with him.
Partha pulls the older guy Cliff in for a roll in the hay, and likes it so much she wants it over and over again, the big joke being Cliff says no mas after eight times. Partha exceptional looks shine though in these love making scenes but note this is not pornographic. There is a bit of breast and bum but pretty much this is silly and tame. At least the alien women are beautiful to look at and Partha in particular showed her assets.
Prudence and Oliver go through the full gambit with their relationship during this little space flight. In the beginning she insists they wait until they marry for sex. She said he can do it all the time...at least on Saturday nights. Of course she is jealous of the very attractive alien women that her man is now noticing. They fight and break off their engagement. He is a bit of a dweeb when it comes to her. In the hospitality room he meets a being from another planet, Wurlitzer who just happens to be a jukebox. When you feed coins into him he is a therapist by trade and helps Oliver to get through to his woman. They finally do it on the spaceship and their relationship is better for it. Quite the useless storyline.
When all is said and done the humans are dropped back off on earth, except Willy who stays to have sex with the three aliens. There lives have been changed and they have had quite the adventure. The ship heads back into space and while Willy bangs Skipper, Cosia gets her chance to drive the ship. The computer complains and then there is one final surprise. It was a really silly film with some poor acting and silly jokes more for the 13 yr old boy than anyone else. Not many of the actors really went on to do too much more of note. Not that this is something of note.
Ava Cadell has gone on to act in bit parts in movies like Smokey and the Bandit 3, and Commando but her real news was after acting. She became a Doctor in sexual studies She now counsels and lectures on relationships and sex. She can be found at WeTalkSex.com
Rating (2.1) 5.0 and up are recommended, some are just more recommended than others.

Bloody New Year (1987) Horror Sci-Fi Ghost

Bloody New Year (1987) - This film is a bit of a mess, not sure if it is a sci-fi film with horror elements or a Horror film with some sci-fi mixed in, probably the latter. What it is for sure is a somewhat poorly done and not well though out film from the eighties, with unfathomable scenes that really add nothing to the film. Okay that's being a bit harsh, it is just the early scenes really have just one purpose, to bring a group of people together for the main story. The problem is all except one is already in there group so why have such an elaborate set up to get that person onto the sailboat. Lets start from the beginning:

The first scene is at the cusp of the new decade of the sixties. A New Years eve party with a drinking and conga line and fun. The night is winding down and the last of the participants is closing the room. She walks over to a mirror and suddenly her reflection reaches out and grabs her pulling her through the looking glass. Ghost story? You don't know but at least later on when the sci-fi plot point comes up you can judge whether this was effective or not.

Cut to the group who will be the focus of the film, all young and having fun at an amusement park.When a woman, Carol (Catherine Roman) is harassed by some carnies the group help her get away and are all chased into the fun house. This whole scene seems to have just a few reasons, it brings Carol into the group for the story to come later. It also foreshadows that bad things are going to happen by having Janet (Nikki Brooks) and Lesley (Suzy Aitchison) visit a fortuneteller who is terrified by what she sees in the crystal ball. It is a elaborate set piece that ends with one of the group drives his Land Rover, sailboat in tow, through the wall of the fun house and picks everyone up. They drive off with the carnies running behind them. The third thing it does is introduces the sailboat which is used briefly in the next scene.
Next we see the now six people are out on said sailboat having a good time. Joining the girls are the brave men who defended them, Spud (Colin Heywood), Rick (Mark Powley) and Tom (Julian Ronnie). Very quickly the boat hits a rock and the group has to swim for the shore of the island they are near. As they are struggling onto the rocks and out of the water someone is watching from the woods. Searching they come across some old plane wreckage and then the old abandoned Island Grand Hotel and we see it is the same place that was in our opening scene. Now the bulk of the film can take place. They are at this big creepy hotel and we get to see it get scarier as the film goes on. Well not really because although they were going for scary they really only reached the level of strange.
Ghosts and things moving on there own, then aggressive ghost and the deaths of some of the characters it is all so weird. We learn from a 1959 television report about a experimental plane that is trying to bend light and do some sort of time travel experiment. What seems to have happened is the plane doing the experiment crashed on the island back then and the people that were there are some how trapped in time, as ghost or some such thing. They are pretty pissed off from what I can tell. It does not make a lot of sense that the victims in that experiment would kill these new arrivals. It is what happens though right down to a final girl. One of the strangest things in the film is Spud Janet and Rick are watching a movie that is playing in the mini cinema of the hotel. Spud is up from doing impersonations of what is happening in the movie. Suddenly and without explanation the Arab stereotype in the movie leaps out of the screen and onto Spud and proceeds to kill him. WTF! Other equally bizarre things include a killer possessed fishing net, footprints appearing on the sand of the beach but no one connected to them, snowing in the living room of a house, a table monster that you have to see to believe, and random quicksand that is in the paths for no other reason then to kill them.
This movie is really a mess from beginning to end. About the only positive thing I had happen in my time working with this film is that I was researching the actresses and Nikki Brooks happens to also be the name of a porn star so a bunch of her images came up when I searched the name. Made by the "cult" director Norman J. Warren who did Inseminoid(Horror Planet), and Alien Prey I was expecting a bit more from this. Why I was thinking that I don't know neither of those films was particularly good but one always hope for good. I might cover his 1976 Satan's Slave at some point but it will not be until I get the taste of this one from my mouth. That might just take awhile. This film just did so many things wrong that it can't even be put into the category of campy fun.
Rating (3.5) 5.0 and up are recommended